1) Thrown Dove dark chocolate candy wrappers over a co-workers cubicle wall, because they have such inspiring messages. Like, "Sleep under the stars tonight" or "A gentle touch speaks volumes". How can I not share these pearls of wisdom??
2) The simultaneous wink and finger-shoot at coworkers when passing them in the hall.
3) When coming back from the bathroom, instead of taking my key card out of my pocket to let myself back into the office, I turn so that my side with the key is facing the door, and jump. See how many jumps it takes before I get enough air to unlock the door from my pocket.
4) Eaten a large bag of m&m's.
5) Taken to responding sarcastically to emails that are not seeking a response. For instance: my boss is a former salesperson, and loves LOVES some man who speaks and writes books on salesmanship. So she regularly emails out to our division (including to those of us - like myself - who are not in sales) little bits of advice from his books. They always go something like this:
"When a contact tells you that they do not have time to talk to you, do you:
A) Demand to speak to their supervisor
B) Sit down and say that you'll wait until they do have time - no matter how long it takes.
C) Tell them you'll call again, and before you follow up next time, research how you can meet their needs.
D) Go home early."
And then it goes into this long-ass explanation of why the wrong ones are wrong and the right ones are right. The weirdest thing about that part is, I swear, they don't make it that obvious in the explanation which one they want you to pick. They might talk about why each one is kind of right, but I guess one is better than the others (kinda SAT style). And really, shouldn't they just have "C" written very clearly somewhere? If they want to convey their ideas successfully? Maybe this sales guy needs some written communication help (I know all of mine do.) Anyway, a lot of times I don't read these, but sometimes I do, just because I want to prove that they are as ridiculous as they seem, and that the answers are just common sense.
So, I haven't said anything to her about these yet, because, as I said, she loves this guy. But recently two of her own superiors played a little joke on her. Called her into an office, asked her a question, and read her A-D multiple choice answers, and laughed and laughed at their own joke. Naturally, she didn't get what was so funny. But I did - straight away. She thought that was "so quick" of me - but really it just means that I've thought about making fun of this many times before, whereas she never has.
So, to get back to it... I've started responding to her with my own answers. Like today, the question was on why networking is so important, and the answer was something about lasting relationships. But I wrote back and put "E) Because sometimes you get free drinks." Which isn't so much meant to be funny, as it is just true. For me at least. That would be my #1 reason. Because just the word "networking" gives me the heebie-jeebies. (I'm not really sure what a heebie-jeebie is, but if it exists, that's what hearing "networking" gives me.)
hm. That's all I can think of for now. I know this makes it sound like I have nothing better to do at work, but I swear, I'm overwhelmed to the point of frozenness. Sometimes a girl's gotta take a step back and share some candy wrappers, you know?
On a completely different note:
I think I shared last time about how undedicated I am to boot camp. We're supposed to write down everything we eat, follow their plan of eating 6 small healthy meals a day, and get that little food log checked every day. If you say, have a soft drink or a cookie - MORE BOOT CAMP FOR YOU!! You stay an extra 5 minutes for extra work at the end of the session. Well, I haven't brought in my book since week 1. Which means I get the extra work - which is fine, because if I had my book, I would be getting extra work plus diassproving looks and lectures on balancing your cabrs and proteins and not eating peanut butter, and blah, blah. Well, today it started raining at the end of camp, so I high-tailed it out of their to my car and skipped the extra stuff. And then who did I run into coming out of a Mellow Mushroom 10 minutes later, carrying a big box of pizza?? My boot camp instructor! How lucky am I?
And ok, so the box looked big, but there was only one slice in there! It wasn't like I was bring an entire pizza home to eat by myself (not that there's anything wrong with that, Gorilla.) And I had a salad, too! Which, uh... makes the pizza ok?
Oh, they're really going to use this tomorrow. (sigh.)
(Down at the bottom here you'll notice my "labels" for posts. One is called "odd people I work with". I created it when I worked at the lab, and since I wrote about work, I figure I should use it, since it's my only work label and all, right? But now the only odd person I work with is myself! The "odd people" is just me. I think I'm ok with that.)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
I'm still alive
Just thought I'd drop in and say that I haven't given up on this blog yet, despite the sparse writing habits. I still have the same old excuses, work takes up too much time and makes my typing limbs hurt, blah, blah. Not to mention gives me less time to come up with other things to write about, blahdidy-blah.
In fact, tonight I'm supposed to be working. Right now. Like, for the last 3 hours into the wee hours was the plan. But I haven't started! And I'm just going to get more tired and rebellious. And then tomorrow I'll look at it all and get overwhelmed and start planning what I'll do that night, which also won't happen. It's my own happy work cycle!
Anyway, so I have the Oscars on right now. These are my thoughts thus far:
1) Marisa Tomei + Ryan Seacrest = very awkward combination. Maybe Marisa doesn't think too highly of Ryan. I can't imagine why.
2) When Jennifer Anniston and Jack Black came out to present together, the camera only flashed to the audience twice. Can you guess to whom? hmm? Right in the front row were Brad and Angelina. So once, straight from Jennifer to close up of Angelina Jolie. Was she talking about anything at all that might have to do with Miss Jolie? Animated films - I don't think so. And then once again at the end to the couple, showing them smiling up at the stage. Really, media? Is that necessary? Could you pretend to have a little more class? No, no I guess you can't.
And since we are on the subject of Oscars, I saw all 5 of the best picture nominees this year - that may be a first ever. (And you can see this over on the side there! No, I don't have time to write, but I do have time to see movies and then list them. It's very important.) For the past 2 years I've gotten all geared up come Oscar time. I don't know what started this, but one of the objects of the Oscar frenzy is to see the short films. I did this a few years ago for the first time, and really enjoyed it. Right before the Oscars one theater here plays all the animated on one ticket, and all the live action shorts on another. For some reason, I have a hard time finding anyone else that wants to see them. And for the animated this year I kind of understood why - but the live action I really enjoyed. So, I guess the point is, uh, you should do that, too. yeah. (My pick for animated didn't win. hmph.)
Anyway, last year I had an excuse for this. I had an Oscar party. And I wanted to win my own "pick the most winners right" contest (and I believe I did). But this year I really have no excuse for my time spent watching movies. No party, thank you work. (Ok, really I wouldn't have it anyway because I am still getting settled in my new apartment. As I said recently to a friend when I asked what I was doing: "Unpacking." "Why are you unpacking?!" "you know, my apartment." "You mean the one you moved into 2 months ago." Shut up, productive people. You get on my nerves.
Speaking of procrastination: I worked on 2 of my Christmas presents today. It's a bad sign of aging that I fear technology so much that I put this off till now. I: 1) setting up the wii. (Still haven't finished that one - had a movie to get to. But I'm sure as soon as I do that Wii Fit will whip me into shape! yea.) 2) I now have a working web cam. I was peering at it wondering how to get it to work, when suddenly it told me I had taken a quick shot of myself, and there I was, with a view down my shirt. Excellent. But I video chatted with my sister and niece, and my niece showed me her ballet shoes and put her arms over her head and spun around and lost her balance and fell down and it was totally worth it.
Oh! My other non-interesting thing that happened this week has to do with boot camp. I think I wrote about this last year. I signed up for boot camp, and it was good. There was a bring a friend day that gave you a second month free, and I recruited, and I got 7 friends there, and I won that thing. And we went out and celebrated with cheese dip and margaritas, just like we weren't supposed to do. Well, I tried it again this year. It was a real good pick me up for my days last year, but I haven't quite taken to it so well this time. I don't know if it's the change in the instructors, or a change in myself, but I don't feel that I'm getting much out of it. And because I live and work much further away from it than I used to, it seems to take up a lot of time. Also, I don't even try to follow the diet plan. Maybe that's why I don't feel better. No balanced nutritious eating habits. I don't even bring my food log. And they say, in their cheer-leader voices, "Ok, but that means you have punishment at the end of class!" And I say, "that's fine. I would have had it anyway." And I do the extra work, and then I drive myself out for pizza. Because I'm drained from work and it's too late to cook. And so I guess I continue to get fatter, but also more muscly at the same time! yay?
So, this Thursday was bring a friend day and something awful happened! I won!!! And I so SO wasn't trying to. But suddenly that afternoon I realized I had 4 friends coming (that I had NOT tried to recruit) and for the first time I had the thought, "My gosh. I hope I don't win." Next thing I know the instructors are clapping for me and congratulating me on my great prize. What do I do?? Say, "no thank you. I choose fat and lazy." What do you think?
Ok, work needed. Sorry to bore you with the details of my week. Now you see why I haven't written more!
Embarrassing story from the vaults will have to come soon to make up for all this tedium.
In fact, tonight I'm supposed to be working. Right now. Like, for the last 3 hours into the wee hours was the plan. But I haven't started! And I'm just going to get more tired and rebellious. And then tomorrow I'll look at it all and get overwhelmed and start planning what I'll do that night, which also won't happen. It's my own happy work cycle!
Anyway, so I have the Oscars on right now. These are my thoughts thus far:
1) Marisa Tomei + Ryan Seacrest = very awkward combination. Maybe Marisa doesn't think too highly of Ryan. I can't imagine why.
2) When Jennifer Anniston and Jack Black came out to present together, the camera only flashed to the audience twice. Can you guess to whom? hmm? Right in the front row were Brad and Angelina. So once, straight from Jennifer to close up of Angelina Jolie. Was she talking about anything at all that might have to do with Miss Jolie? Animated films - I don't think so. And then once again at the end to the couple, showing them smiling up at the stage. Really, media? Is that necessary? Could you pretend to have a little more class? No, no I guess you can't.
And since we are on the subject of Oscars, I saw all 5 of the best picture nominees this year - that may be a first ever. (And you can see this over on the side there! No, I don't have time to write, but I do have time to see movies and then list them. It's very important.) For the past 2 years I've gotten all geared up come Oscar time. I don't know what started this, but one of the objects of the Oscar frenzy is to see the short films. I did this a few years ago for the first time, and really enjoyed it. Right before the Oscars one theater here plays all the animated on one ticket, and all the live action shorts on another. For some reason, I have a hard time finding anyone else that wants to see them. And for the animated this year I kind of understood why - but the live action I really enjoyed. So, I guess the point is, uh, you should do that, too. yeah. (My pick for animated didn't win. hmph.)
Anyway, last year I had an excuse for this. I had an Oscar party. And I wanted to win my own "pick the most winners right" contest (and I believe I did). But this year I really have no excuse for my time spent watching movies. No party, thank you work. (Ok, really I wouldn't have it anyway because I am still getting settled in my new apartment. As I said recently to a friend when I asked what I was doing: "Unpacking." "Why are you unpacking?!" "you know, my apartment." "You mean the one you moved into 2 months ago." Shut up, productive people. You get on my nerves.
Speaking of procrastination: I worked on 2 of my Christmas presents today. It's a bad sign of aging that I fear technology so much that I put this off till now. I: 1) setting up the wii. (Still haven't finished that one - had a movie to get to. But I'm sure as soon as I do that Wii Fit will whip me into shape! yea.) 2) I now have a working web cam. I was peering at it wondering how to get it to work, when suddenly it told me I had taken a quick shot of myself, and there I was, with a view down my shirt. Excellent. But I video chatted with my sister and niece, and my niece showed me her ballet shoes and put her arms over her head and spun around and lost her balance and fell down and it was totally worth it.
Oh! My other non-interesting thing that happened this week has to do with boot camp. I think I wrote about this last year. I signed up for boot camp, and it was good. There was a bring a friend day that gave you a second month free, and I recruited, and I got 7 friends there, and I won that thing. And we went out and celebrated with cheese dip and margaritas, just like we weren't supposed to do. Well, I tried it again this year. It was a real good pick me up for my days last year, but I haven't quite taken to it so well this time. I don't know if it's the change in the instructors, or a change in myself, but I don't feel that I'm getting much out of it. And because I live and work much further away from it than I used to, it seems to take up a lot of time. Also, I don't even try to follow the diet plan. Maybe that's why I don't feel better. No balanced nutritious eating habits. I don't even bring my food log. And they say, in their cheer-leader voices, "Ok, but that means you have punishment at the end of class!" And I say, "that's fine. I would have had it anyway." And I do the extra work, and then I drive myself out for pizza. Because I'm drained from work and it's too late to cook. And so I guess I continue to get fatter, but also more muscly at the same time! yay?
So, this Thursday was bring a friend day and something awful happened! I won!!! And I so SO wasn't trying to. But suddenly that afternoon I realized I had 4 friends coming (that I had NOT tried to recruit) and for the first time I had the thought, "My gosh. I hope I don't win." Next thing I know the instructors are clapping for me and congratulating me on my great prize. What do I do?? Say, "no thank you. I choose fat and lazy." What do you think?
Ok, work needed. Sorry to bore you with the details of my week. Now you see why I haven't written more!
Embarrassing story from the vaults will have to come soon to make up for all this tedium.
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