I got tagged to write "25 Things About Myself" the other day on Facebook by two of my friends (at the same time when everyone else on facebook was also tagged with this.) I told one of them that I would write mine for her, but that I would not put it on Facebook (see #7), but send it to her in an email instead. And I did. And then I thought, as long as I have this, I'll use it as a blog entry. Because I'm tired and it's already done. And a lot less people see my blog than see Facebook. (A lot.)
So here you go - 25 Random Things About Myself. Prepare to be thrilled. (And I don't know how to tag people with this - but hey Blay! I tag you!)
1. I have a lot of nicknames. Sometimes when I’m asked my name, I have to think about it before I answer. The answer might differ based on who I’m with.
2. I’m a great sleeper. I can sleep hard just about anywhere.
3. I didn’t kiss a boy until I was in college.
4. I can’t wear the color yellow.
5. I was fiercely attached to a security blanket as a kid. I still have it.
6. I have a blog. I don’t like to admit it.
7. I value my privacy. (Which is somewhat at odds with #7.)
8. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
9. Someone who’s known me for a long time recently told her grandchild that I was really a kid in a big person’s body. I guess she’s kind of right.
10. I love photos. Always have.
11. I have an intense fear of aging. Since I was about 17.
12. I’m still close to most of my friends from middle and high school. They are some of the smartest and most creative people I’ve ever known.
13. I remember being thrilled when, at age 6 or 7, my freckles started coming in, because I wanted to be just like the older girl across the street. Freckles and pigtails and all.
14. I have eyeglasses that I seldom wear. When I got them in college and looked in a mirror, I was shocked by all my freckles. I had thought that they had faded, and that I had a slight tan.
15. I fall down a lot. “Hey Jenn, watch out for banana peels” was a common joke on my adult soccer team.
16. I’m beautiful. And modest. (Read: I have a hard time talking/writing seriously about myself.)
17. There are a lot of really horrible pictures out there of me. One of my closest friends hoards them in a file, just in case she ever feels like blackmailing me. More than once I’ve been told that I’m photogenic. Those people have obviously only seen a small selection of photos.
18. I shake when I’m really nervous.
19. Sometime over the last 3 years, I went from being a nearly-never crier to a way-too-easy-crier.
20. Drivers who don’t signal when they turn or change lanes are a pet-peeve.
21. People who say they don’t like quiet people, or use, “but he/she’s kind of quiet” in a sentence to denote definite negativity get me all riled up. I like the quiet ones (you attention-seeking loud-mouths).
22. I have to turn out all the lights when I leave.
23. I’m way too good at sucking up large amounts of time while accomplishing very little.
24. I will always stop at a lemonade stand. Not for any super love of lemonade.
25. If I could grant myself one natural talent, it would be to be able to sing. Really really well.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Wherein I give them a reason to fire me just for the sake of conveying two totally random meaningless thoughts
I broke a rule of mine and wrote what's below while at work today. Because that's the best time to vent/procrastinate/ramble - when one is at work. And not afterwards when one is weary/trying to have a life. But instead of emailing it into blogger, I emailed it to myself - because they may be able to see that I'm emailing, but at least they won't have my blog address. (Because as I've complained about before, all email is blocked!! It leaves me feeling very isolated. And I am no longer near friends that I can lunch with, either! Not that I ever leave my little beige corner for lunch anyway... see how I need to reach the outside world?) Anyway, they seem to be very against emailing, my company. But hey, it's not like we're in the middle of lay-offs or anything! oh wait...
The most satisfying thing I've said at work so far today (to someone way above me):
Dragon Lady: "What's wrong? You're not rockin' and rollin' on this one?"
Me: "No. And I'm not living in the '80s either."
Because there are only so many times I can hear the phrase "rockin' & rollin'" in a serious sense during a business meeting, before I bubble up and overflow, you know? Wouldn't you?
And in the last post, I left out one of my memorable Mona moments from New Year's.
Mona has spent three years living in a small Alaskan village. With like, 300 people maybe? Where the only adult single men there are in their early twenties (we are now in the early thirties phase – but I try not to think about that), and most of them are clients of hers (she's a social worker), and well, they just weren't real ideal candidates for a man-lover for Mona, you know? I mean, a pompous alcoholic woman-abusing 22 year old may be ok for a rainy day, but – or actually, not ok for a rainy day. That's what I keep telling Mona. And not a lot of new blood wonders into her town, so one of my jobs as her friend was to let her feast her eyes on some men-folk. That's right, we've lowered our standards – we were just asking to see some boys.
Oh, and I should also mention that Mona likes boys. She really likes them. A lot. And she has been very deprived. 3 years deprived. Sometime I might tell you about how she stalked a pizza man when we were in high school, just to give you an idea of her longing for boys.
So I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised to find her so willing to go watch me playing in a co-rec indoor soccer game. And this is where I had my other favorite memorable Mona moment:
Seeing her walk up to me after the game, and with eyes wide, and face full of excitement say:
"When you pinned that guy up against the wall??! That was AWESOME."
And I could tell she really meant it, too.
And in my defense, I'd like to say that I never push in soccer. I am a lady! Unless you push me first, and then watch out bitch, because I will come after you. I have some weight that I am not afraid to throw around. This indoor league had some pretty feisty ladies – ladies with elbows of steel they liked to throw in my face/chest/ribs, and this does not make me happy. Actually, it makes me play better. Because then I get a little fired up. But I digress… the men will push a girl, too. Especially if you've taken the ball away from them before, heaven forbid. After that, they'll pretty much hold you at arm's length and not let you get near them (stupid boys). But in the case with the pinning against the wall, I broke my own rule. This poor guy did nothing to me. But there were no subs, and I was SO TIRED. And he looked quick. And I knew my only way to win the ball was to cheat. And you know what? The poor guy didn't even push back. He seemed too stunned.
At least Mona enjoyed it. I'm glad I could do this for you as your friend, Mona.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Oh Mitch, it's been so long, so very very long!
It's been so long since I've updated that it feels unnatural to be doing so. And I have a feeling the longer I go the harder it will get, so I'm going to force something out before I fall asleep here. (Attention-grabbing intro, no?)
I blame this on a combination of factors - the holidays, in-town guests (related to the holidays), and just being really tired. And not just generally tired, but also tired of the computer by the time I get home from work. My eyes, fingers, and wrists hurt from it. This week it's just been an intense desire to be asleep. There were a couple of nights I was about to update, and then I was seduced by sleep - sleep is a smoothie, that one. In fact, it's hard for me to believe I'm up right now.
So I'll have something I'm going to write about, and then I'm too tired, or busy, and then tired again, and before you know it I've forgotten it. Or remember a little but not enough to know why I wanted to write it down.
So let's see what I do remember, ok?
Last time I wrote I was whining about how I might be getting sick, and you know what, I was right! I had some kind of throat infection and a nice high fever, which made me oh so pleasant to be around when my brother and sister-in-law arrived for Christmas. Just when I was turning the corner, my sister came in with her germ-carrying daughter - the one that gives me a stomach virus with almost every holiday. And guess what? She walked in the door that night, that night when my fever finally broke, covered in vomit. But praises be, we all survived without spending 24 to 48 hours puking! Yay! It was a Christmas miracle.
Here's what I remember about my niece over Christmas:
She's getting older. She looked bigger, as always, but what struck me the most was that she gave bigger looks. I mean, she had more facial expressions. Not just the simple baby ones anymore: sad, happy, surprised, angry, staring blankly - those are old hand. Now she had: devious, sweet, bossy (ok, bossy came early to her), annoyed, exasperated, crafty, sassy, flirtatious. Crazy. And her vocabulary - that had grown, too. Oh, and her imagination!
Let me give you a little example: My niece is not big on sharing. She thinks everything is hers. So I imagine she has been getting some talks on the importance of the sharing. Well, I go over to see the family one night, and she's playing on the kitchen floor, and my mom says, "Sara Beth, tell Ju-Ju (that would be me) what you did with her stocking today."
(We each had a Christmas stocking. Mine had a some hershey kisses, a chapstick, and a shoe-shine kit in it. Can you guess which one my dad picked out?)
And this kid, this kid who is not even 3 years old, she knew she had to answer this carefully! And this is how she did so: She smiled at me and did a little fluttery laugh, looked down, looked back up again, cocked her head to one side, and I swear, she batted her eyelashes, and then she said in the sweetest voice possible: "I sharing."
In other words, the kid had been nabbing my candy. And had already figured out how to put a spin on it, and look cute while doing so.
As you can see from the photo, she was no candy-nabbing novice. Here she's using a knife (what? 2 year olds can totally be trusted with a knife) to pry m&m's off of some chocolate frosting.)
As far as an example on the imagination... One night out of no where she started trying to prevent people from walking by her. She would spread out her feet and arms and stick her little body in front of the big ones, and declare "no no no no!" and as we tried to move aside, she would scuffle her little self back into position to head you off again (she was surprising quick.) After being around this for several minutes, and brushing her aside and not really even glancing at her like everyone else was doing, I knelt down and said, "What's wrong? Do you not want us to go upstairs?" And she shook her head very seriously. So I asked why not, and she turned around and took a look back toward the stairs, looked back at me, and with huge eyes, pointed toward the stairs and whispered, "A LION!" Yes, there was a lion at my parents house. So I explained to her that I had a lion catching net, and that we could creep very quietly upstairs together, and you know what? It worked. No more yelling no and trying to impede my progress. And I got to pretend I was on a lion hunt. Definitely more fun.
As for what I remember about New Year's: Mona came!!!! And that was great! Mona lives in Alaska, so when she called me on the 30th, and said she'd like to fly in the next day and stay for a week, I considered that quite a treat. In fact, I am trying to figure out how to get her to move here. You know those friends you've known long and well enough that you know they'll always tell it to you like it is? Mona's one of those. Take for instance this conversation we had New Year's Eve:
me, trying on clothes (which were Veronica's - because she TRICKED us into going to a party that was dressier than we had been led to believe!!): "How does this look?"
Mona: "You look like a whore who found some nice shoes."
me, in different dress: "What about this?"
Mona, considering, "...it's fine..."
me: "Do I look like I'm going to work?"
Mona: "If you're one of those slutty people at work you do."
See how I need her? And who else would agree that we must go rent The Big Easy at midnight on a Tuesday night with me? (margaritas) And not care that I fall asleep within the first 2 minutes? (margaritas)
As for more recent happenings, here's one:
Last Friday was a bad, bad day. It started with many many lay-offs at work. And I found out that more would be coming in 90 days, and that my job would likely be one of them, and that there will be no severance pay, and that insurance ends that day. yay. And have I mentioned that I just moved into a more expensive apartment? yay again. And really, seeing that many people lose their jobs was just emotionally and physically draining. At least I felt completely drained by the time I got home. Which is how I explain what happened next: I was starting down some hardwood stairs in my trusty old Strawberry Shortcake slippers (what?) when I guess I slipped (I've worn those things out - who could blame me?) and I fell all the way down the stairs. I remember trying really hard to stop myself, and I couldn't. Shouldn't that not be that hard? I also remember wondering if I was going to die alone at the bottom of these stairs, out of clumsiness. Did anyone see the 30 Rock where Liz agrees to go out on a blind date after Jack tells her that he though her worst fear would be choking to death alone at home? And then she almost does and has to Heimlich herself against her kitchen counter? Kind of like that. Except I wasn't even close to dieing. But that shit hurt. A lot.
So, the next morning I fly out to meet my most wonderful friends who sponsored a birthday trip for me (yay, friends!) and by the time I got there, I realized I had a pretty impressive bruise coming in. So what did I do? I made sure that everyone there that weekend got a good look at my ass. Because if I have to fall down stairs out of pure clumsiness, at least I should get to show off my wounds. (Which reminds me, my sister-in-law, who's in medical school, thinks that I need a check-up and some vitamin level tests, because such bruising did not seem normal to her. I think that it's more likely that I just weigh a whole, whole lot, and therefore the force of my fall was more than she could imagine. That's always good to find out.)
So, that's all well and good, but here's where I messed up: A couple of nights ago I went for a run, and quickly discovered that that really hurts a large butt bruise. So after getting it all stirred up, I thought it would be a good idea to take a hot bath. Just let it soak in that hot water for a while.
Know what this did? This created swelling. That was 2 nights ago, and the swelling was still continuing today. What I now have is a butt that is sticking out more on the left side than the right side. As if being pear-shaped weren't bad enough, I am now a lopsided pear. Seriously, I even had someone at work notice it.
The moral is, I am clumsy and dumb. Learn from my mistakes. Don't grow a huge left butt.
I blame this on a combination of factors - the holidays, in-town guests (related to the holidays), and just being really tired. And not just generally tired, but also tired of the computer by the time I get home from work. My eyes, fingers, and wrists hurt from it. This week it's just been an intense desire to be asleep. There were a couple of nights I was about to update, and then I was seduced by sleep - sleep is a smoothie, that one. In fact, it's hard for me to believe I'm up right now.
So I'll have something I'm going to write about, and then I'm too tired, or busy, and then tired again, and before you know it I've forgotten it. Or remember a little but not enough to know why I wanted to write it down.
So let's see what I do remember, ok?
Last time I wrote I was whining about how I might be getting sick, and you know what, I was right! I had some kind of throat infection and a nice high fever, which made me oh so pleasant to be around when my brother and sister-in-law arrived for Christmas. Just when I was turning the corner, my sister came in with her germ-carrying daughter - the one that gives me a stomach virus with almost every holiday. And guess what? She walked in the door that night, that night when my fever finally broke, covered in vomit. But praises be, we all survived without spending 24 to 48 hours puking! Yay! It was a Christmas miracle.
Here's what I remember about my niece over Christmas:
She's getting older. She looked bigger, as always, but what struck me the most was that she gave bigger looks. I mean, she had more facial expressions. Not just the simple baby ones anymore: sad, happy, surprised, angry, staring blankly - those are old hand. Now she had: devious, sweet, bossy (ok, bossy came early to her), annoyed, exasperated, crafty, sassy, flirtatious. Crazy. And her vocabulary - that had grown, too. Oh, and her imagination!
Let me give you a little example: My niece is not big on sharing. She thinks everything is hers. So I imagine she has been getting some talks on the importance of the sharing. Well, I go over to see the family one night, and she's playing on the kitchen floor, and my mom says, "Sara Beth, tell Ju-Ju (that would be me) what you did with her stocking today."
(We each had a Christmas stocking. Mine had a some hershey kisses, a chapstick, and a shoe-shine kit in it. Can you guess which one my dad picked out?)
And this kid, this kid who is not even 3 years old, she knew she had to answer this carefully! And this is how she did so: She smiled at me and did a little fluttery laugh, looked down, looked back up again, cocked her head to one side, and I swear, she batted her eyelashes, and then she said in the sweetest voice possible: "I sharing."
In other words, the kid had been nabbing my candy. And had already figured out how to put a spin on it, and look cute while doing so.
As you can see from the photo, she was no candy-nabbing novice. Here she's using a knife (what? 2 year olds can totally be trusted with a knife) to pry m&m's off of some chocolate frosting.)
As far as an example on the imagination... One night out of no where she started trying to prevent people from walking by her. She would spread out her feet and arms and stick her little body in front of the big ones, and declare "no no no no!" and as we tried to move aside, she would scuffle her little self back into position to head you off again (she was surprising quick.) After being around this for several minutes, and brushing her aside and not really even glancing at her like everyone else was doing, I knelt down and said, "What's wrong? Do you not want us to go upstairs?" And she shook her head very seriously. So I asked why not, and she turned around and took a look back toward the stairs, looked back at me, and with huge eyes, pointed toward the stairs and whispered, "A LION!" Yes, there was a lion at my parents house. So I explained to her that I had a lion catching net, and that we could creep very quietly upstairs together, and you know what? It worked. No more yelling no and trying to impede my progress. And I got to pretend I was on a lion hunt. Definitely more fun.
As for what I remember about New Year's: Mona came!!!! And that was great! Mona lives in Alaska, so when she called me on the 30th, and said she'd like to fly in the next day and stay for a week, I considered that quite a treat. In fact, I am trying to figure out how to get her to move here. You know those friends you've known long and well enough that you know they'll always tell it to you like it is? Mona's one of those. Take for instance this conversation we had New Year's Eve:
me, trying on clothes (which were Veronica's - because she TRICKED us into going to a party that was dressier than we had been led to believe!!): "How does this look?"
Mona: "You look like a whore who found some nice shoes."
me, in different dress: "What about this?"
Mona, considering, "...it's fine..."
me: "Do I look like I'm going to work?"
Mona: "If you're one of those slutty people at work you do."
See how I need her? And who else would agree that we must go rent The Big Easy at midnight on a Tuesday night with me? (margaritas) And not care that I fall asleep within the first 2 minutes? (margaritas)
As for more recent happenings, here's one:
Last Friday was a bad, bad day. It started with many many lay-offs at work. And I found out that more would be coming in 90 days, and that my job would likely be one of them, and that there will be no severance pay, and that insurance ends that day. yay. And have I mentioned that I just moved into a more expensive apartment? yay again. And really, seeing that many people lose their jobs was just emotionally and physically draining. At least I felt completely drained by the time I got home. Which is how I explain what happened next: I was starting down some hardwood stairs in my trusty old Strawberry Shortcake slippers (what?) when I guess I slipped (I've worn those things out - who could blame me?) and I fell all the way down the stairs. I remember trying really hard to stop myself, and I couldn't. Shouldn't that not be that hard? I also remember wondering if I was going to die alone at the bottom of these stairs, out of clumsiness. Did anyone see the 30 Rock where Liz agrees to go out on a blind date after Jack tells her that he though her worst fear would be choking to death alone at home? And then she almost does and has to Heimlich herself against her kitchen counter? Kind of like that. Except I wasn't even close to dieing. But that shit hurt. A lot.
So, the next morning I fly out to meet my most wonderful friends who sponsored a birthday trip for me (yay, friends!) and by the time I got there, I realized I had a pretty impressive bruise coming in. So what did I do? I made sure that everyone there that weekend got a good look at my ass. Because if I have to fall down stairs out of pure clumsiness, at least I should get to show off my wounds. (Which reminds me, my sister-in-law, who's in medical school, thinks that I need a check-up and some vitamin level tests, because such bruising did not seem normal to her. I think that it's more likely that I just weigh a whole, whole lot, and therefore the force of my fall was more than she could imagine. That's always good to find out.)
So, that's all well and good, but here's where I messed up: A couple of nights ago I went for a run, and quickly discovered that that really hurts a large butt bruise. So after getting it all stirred up, I thought it would be a good idea to take a hot bath. Just let it soak in that hot water for a while.
Know what this did? This created swelling. That was 2 nights ago, and the swelling was still continuing today. What I now have is a butt that is sticking out more on the left side than the right side. As if being pear-shaped weren't bad enough, I am now a lopsided pear. Seriously, I even had someone at work notice it.
The moral is, I am clumsy and dumb. Learn from my mistakes. Don't grow a huge left butt.
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