A meeting with Bathroom Lady is like taking a look in a skinny mirror

Unless she is telling you how wide your hips are, at least.

I just ran into her in the hallway, and she greeted me with a, "Wooo-oo! You slimming down!"
(Note: I am most definitely not slimming down.)

me: "No."
BL: "Yes you are! What you doing? I tried to walk today but my foot started hurting."
And I used the hurt foot opening to talk about my own hurt foot, as well as the knees that have been aching ever since I attempted to run 6.2 miles. (The foot is also from the race - it's bruised all over one side - and it hurts! How did I get this old??)
Anyway, while I was talking, she was not looking me in the eye, nor at my knees or foot - she was staring at my mid-section. And mid "I think I'm going to go swimming after work today" sentence she commanded: "Turn around." What I am supposed to do? I turned. So she could size up the size of my butt, I suppose. I don't know what's effecting her vision, but she seemed to think my butt size supported her theory.
BL: "mmhmm! You definitely slimming down! How you do it?"
me: "I'm not doing anything." (sadly true.)
BL: "I know you doing something."
me: "I've been sitting back there eating cookies*."
BL: laughing, as she walks away, "No, that ain't it! You doing something! One day you going to tell me how you do it!"

I don't think she knows I have only 2 more days of working in this building with her. I think I'll actually miss our little run-ins.

*Also sadly true. Just ask Splann. Just moments before we had this conversation:
Splann: "How are you feeling?"
me: "Ok. I'm sitting in the bathroom eating a bag of cookies."
Splann: "So, not good."

I think this is the first time I've ever stooped to eating in the bathroom. But there was no privacy from the rule-enforcing presence today! I had to take a break. I took my phone and the cookies with me. Don't judge.