I promise that sometimes I do not complain (but this is not one of them)

So sit back, I've got some venting to do. Hey, it's either you or calling up my friends and venting to them, and if I were to do that all the time pretty soon they wouldn't want to hang out with me anymore. So I choose you, internets. You are that special to me.

Numero Uno) A kickball lineup for this weekend was sent out over email, and imagine my surprise when I discover that I don't seem to be a highly valued team member!! (I know, I could hardly believe it, either.) You see, I signed up for this college alumni kickball team, and signed up a friend along with me, because she was looking for new guys to hit on a fun physical activity to contribute to. Unfortunately, I was out of town for both the league kick-off party, the team get to know you party, and the first game. But she went solo, because she really wants to get a jump-start on those guys is really dedicated to kickball. We have a team captain that sends out emails, and she told me that he's very nice - in what he says - but perhaps a little sexist in how he directs this game. I don't know if I somehow thought this wouldn't extend to me, a complete stranger, but I was nevertheless offended to see that in the list of 18 players, I would be kicking dead last. And I would only be playing half the game - and when I am in I will be a catcher, which as everyone knows, is just like sitting out anyway. Not too many people whiff a ball. Really you just stand there and pick your nose. Oh wait! One time I get to play left center field. But our captain has designated himself all-time center fielder, so I'm pretty sure he plans on covering my territory when I'm out there. (Oh, he's a risk taker! Putting me in the out field that one time!)
I think my pride is particularly wounded because back in elementary school (which of course wasn't very long ago), I played kickball every single day at recess, and I was GOOD, damnit. I was always 2nd pick, and the first pick would go on to be a highly sought after college athlete, and a (marginally successful) professional one. If he was a captain and got first pick, it meant we were on the same team and a few kids would always whine it wasn't fair. Yes, those were the good old days - I think I reached my peak at 10. It's been down hill ever since. And actually, I may have been a tiny bit overrated back then. And also, when I last played, I discovered that I am worse as an adult than I was as a kid. And I don't just mean everyone else is better - true, grown men have a power advantage they didn't have as kids - but I mean I myself am worse. I once was a kid that could sling the ball at a runner and knock him over (at least if he was kind of small - don't judge, I wasn't big, either), and now I throw like a girl. How did that happen? Is there something in the genes that just kicks in at some point?
Anyway, my whole point is - my kickball reputation should have magically extended into the present, and I should not be made to play less than anyone else on the team. As my soccer-friend Jay once said, "I have some meaty legs" - that goes for me, too. If I am cursed with these meaty legs, at least some good should come out of it. And kickball is about the only upside of that I can think of.
My friend wanted to go out for drinks before our game tomorrow, but nay, little flirty friend, it is not to be! I am fired up now. I will not be drinking - I will be psyching myself up to prove myself to my team! My pride is wounded!!
(If anyone has any idea how I can prepare myself, please let me know. Now that I have written this I fully expect to dumbly stand there while a ball bounces off my face at least one time.)

2) Did you know that when you move you may get an energy bill for a month after you move out? I called them yesterday because I thought it was a mistake. They had the time period listed as one day, and the amount was more than half of what my last bill had been. I thought that even if they were issuing a bill for one day, the amount must be wrong. But, noooo, it seems that anytime you move out after the 20th of the month (which is everyone that moves, right?) they get to charge you all their fees for the next month. (On a side note, I can't believe that much of my bill was "fees"!). Before the guy would explain it to me he told me that his paperwork showed I had been alerted to this rule when I called in to cancel my service. First of all, this was the kind of thing I would remember had it been explained to me, because just the principle of it, it makes me mad. (So I don't think they did tell me, looks like another example of this, but there's no evidence to point to in this case), but even if they did, what am I supposed to do? Not turn off my service? So I'm thinking about writing a letter. But I know I'm lazy, so maybe you should write a letter. Start with: "Dear Cheating Bastards".

3) You know, I think I will leave off three. I had a coworker anecdote, but even I am tired of my own complaining.

I will leave you with something light to see you off into the weekend! My brother introduced me to this comic strip xkcd. I would classify this as a strip for big nerds, which is probably why my brother likes it. Half the time, I don't know what it's talking about, and then I feel stupid. But at least sometimes I leave it and then try to learn what that was all about. And every once in a while, there is one that the simple folks like me can take part in, and then I feel so pleased with myself! (Even though I have not actually gotten any smarter.) So here's one for everyone: enjoy.