I'm 50, I read kids' books, and I'm rather bovine - who likes me now?

I know I have complained here before about the public, clangy scale at the doctor's office, but I have some updated venting to do.

I had a doctor's appointment recently, and I went through the usual weighing process, and was then seated in the examining room awaiting the doctor's entrance with my mind off of the scale because that was behind me now. Wasn't it?

The doctor came in and started flipping through my paperwork, and asking me the usual doctory questions. And then she made this statement: "You've gained some weight since you were here last." And then she just stared at me, waiting. I've never had a doctor bring up my weight before, and I didn't know how to respond. But it would seem from the extending silence that she was expecting something, so I came back with this: "Oh?"
"Yes", she said, "11 pounds."
"ah. really? hmm..."
And then she went back to staring at me. Was she waiting for some kind of excuse? Like, "Well, I like to eat." It seemed she had already deduced that. Or maybe, "I broke both my legs last year and was unable to run many miles every day like I wanted to, so I'm sure this will clear up soon!" Maybe that's what she was hoping for... broken bones. Or maybe she wanted me to thank her for bringing this to my attention and ask for her recommendation to the nearest fat camp? (Does anyone else remember getting weighed once a year in elementary school? The rumor was that if you weighed too much you would be sent away all summer to fat camp, where you would be forced to eat horrible things. And all the other kids would know and make fun of you and your life would be ruined. I wasn't overweight as a kid, but the weighing process still terrified me. Ok fine. I had a little chipmunk-cheeked phase, but I grew a lot right after that! I needed that fat for growth!!)
I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of pressuring me into a response - I preferred to just let the awkward silence grow. And just when I was about to break and mumble something like, "well... my clothes still fit..." She said, "Do you ever exercise at all?"
Boot camp! Is this what I am paying you for??! No, no it is not!
I told her that I had been forced to exercise every day for the past month and a half through boot camp, and I guess shortly after that she moved on. Not in a, "oh that's great! let's move on!" kind of way, more in a sceptical of the idea of me exercising kind of way, but I was ready to be done with that conversation. Has this ever happened to anyone else? And I am not talking to you pregnant people! I mean, I know it must be hard to see yourself expand like that, but still, somewhere, deep down, you have to realize that it is because you are carrying another HUMAN BEING around in your belly, and YES, that is a good excuse! And I know the doctor's sometimes comment on the weight you gain month to month... but for those of us who are most assuredly not pregnant? I mean, I don't think I look like someone whose heart must be on the verge of giving out, and I guess I thought doctor's were only slightly less polite about weight than the rest of the population. The rest of the population: not supposed to comment at all. Doctors: only when you are on the verge of dying from obesity. Apparently I was wrong. Either that or I am about to keel over from my own huge-ness. I don't know, she didn't tell me.

Some friends have suggested that I have gained 11 pounds of muscle from boot camp, but we all know that they have to lie to me because they are my friends. A few of them who've had babies have done the old, "oh, you can't weigh as much as I do! I still have all this baby weight! And with watching the little one, it's just so hard to find time to exercise! I don't even want to hear it, Jenn!" An old friend was visiting from out of town last week, and she was giving me this whole spiel, along with how much it changes your body, blah, blah, blah. And I'm not saying it doesn't, I'm just saying I don't want to hear about how you still weigh less than I do with all of your baby obstacles. So in this one case, I decided to prove my point by telling her how much I weigh, and let me tell you people, she laughed. And laughed and laughed. And when she was able to catch her breath, she said, "I'm sorry! I'm laughing because I didn't even think that was possible! I am flabbergasted! FLABBER. GASTED."
yeah, this may be a problem.

There was another element of humiliation to that doctor's visit, but I'm not going to get into it here. I will say though that it is really not fair (NOT FAIR!) that some of us have to be quizzed with really personal, invasive questions on a regular basis while others of us never do. And nurse with attitude? I could do without the indignation when I answer your questions - keep your look of shock to yourself, thank you very much.