I'm like a ray of sunshine, here to brighten your morning

Do you ever have one of those mornings, when you look at your watch, and you realize that your alarm clock is somehow no longer set ahead of time like you thought, and you are going to be late for work? But maybe, just maybe, if you leave right away, you'll only be a couple of minutes late, and no one will notice, and you won't have to use 15 minutes of your vacation time because you are 5 to 10 minutes late. So you don't dry your hair even though it is 9 degrees outside, and you head out the door, but it's dark in the hall because the lights are out, and you don't have a ladder or even a chair to stand on, and even if you did have a chair, you are still too short to change the lights, so you are fumbling around trying to squint to find the right key, and you drop your water bottle and it spills all over your hard wood floors, your socks and shoes. So you give up on not being late, wipe up the floor with the towels you just washed, change socks and shoes because after all, it's 9 degrees outside, and then you hear creaking from above and you realize the creepy man who lives upstairs from you is on his way down to your door to see what's going on. And you kinda notice as you refill your water bottle that it is now broken, but you use it anyway, because you are a thirsty person and sand comes out of the faucets where you work. And you finally make it out the door and past creepy man, although you notice you are suddenly jumpy, as you have had a creepy man lurking behind you and watching over your shoulder this morning, and you drive to work and just as you are making your final turn in, your water bottle falls over and spills all down your pants, because you broke it, stupid. But you know that at least they keep it nice and cozy where you work - oh wait, they don't. Which is why you used to walk around inside in a hat, gloves, and down coat that looked like a slightly shorter version of this. And you get there, and you realize that yes, they have noticed that you are late, and as you set what's left of your water down, you knock it over and it spills all over your desk. And then you fill out the little piece of paper requesting time off, because you were late, and when it asks why, and says, "give details", you take this literally, just for spite. Because, hey, they asked.
Alexander, I feel your pain.

Also, a friend has written to me to complain how depressing it is that she hasn't gotten any "lovin'" in two days.
And to this, to this I don't even know what to say.