raise your hand if you showed your boss a penis today

I tend to embarrass myself quite frequently. I mean, a day without a little humiliation is hardly complete. It's quite boring, really. And today, I embarrassed myself by accidentally making my boss look at a picture of a penis.

Let me go back here for a moment to my recent trip to Spain. Our second night there we took a history and tapas tour in Madrid, where an old, drunk Englishman walked us around, spun us some murderous tall tales, and took us into some of his favorite tapas bars while he shot back glasses of wine. Oh, and he insisted that we call him "The Chairman" - I think he enjoys his work.

Our last stop was a little place called La Torre del Oro. The back wall of this place was covered in framed photos of bull fights. Specifically, people being injured in bull fights. Sometimes the surgery after bull fights. The wall grossed me out.

Now, I've been putting my photos up on flickr, where they are easily accessible at work, but even still, I haven't been showing them around. But today someone asked, and so I pulled up my flickr site, and because she is that kind of person that can take it, I showed her this particular photo. It's a photo of a photo at La Torre del Oro. And I took the photo of the photo because I found it simply amazing that this moment was captured on film. There were many bull fighting photos, but this one jumped out at me because I was told by the old drunk Englishman not to look at it. He asked me and the two other women to turn around and not to listen while he explained it to the one man in our group. So naturally, I listened very carefully. And this is what he said (in his English accent, words slightly slurred): "See that one? See the tear in his pants? Now see that thing in the air over his head? That's his pecker."




And so then I took a photo of the photo. And then I showed it to my coworker. And then, our boss walked in. And he was going to walk by, not even taking a second glance at us (even though he has strictly forbidden use of the internet at work, because it will bring down the whole company with a virus - yeah, that's right), so just as he's walking by, she has to yell, "Oh, gross!" even though she doesn't know what she's looking at - she just says it's gross because a person seems to have been hit by a bull! So he stops, comes back, stands over my shoulder, and leans in to carefully study the photo. And this is where I become very embarrassed. Because it is quiet, and I have obviously pulled up a photo to show-off, and he is about to slowly come to the conclusion that he is looking at a flying penis.

It was especially hard not to switch the screen view (my hand was on the mouse buttons, and my fingers were itching) when he slowly pronounced what I had titled this photo: "dis-mem-bered..." and then you could tell he was thinking it all over.

So, did anyone else use the forbidden internet to show x-rated material to their bosses today? Extra credit if later on they caught you playing scrabulous on your computer. Seriously, that man has the quietest footsteps around. It's like he floats. He's a big, bearded, scowling, no-nonsense, floating man. And sometimes we like to look at pseudo-porn together.
I like to keep it all professional like that.