short and sweet

Just moments ago I visited the restroom here at work, and, surprise surprise, who should I meet there but the Mistress of the Bathroom (she was just hanging out, by the way).

We had a polite little exchange that went like this:

BL: Hi. (looking me over, as always)

me: Hi, how are you?

BL: All right.

me: (making my way to stall) Are you ready for Christmas?

BL: You dating? hmm? A little bit?

You see how she so subtly and skillfully took the subject of Christmas, and so very craftily turned it to my dating life? She's like an artist of juxtaposition.


In other ho-hum news, Lob and I lunched next to T-Boz today. Her and some other people that looked familiar in a celebrity kind of way. But I didn't know who any of the rest were, and I wouldn't have recognized T-Boz, either, if Lob hadn't of pointed her out. Just like I never would have noticed the hot gardener walking right by me at that time if Lob had not been with me to start drooling over him. And then I wouldn't have known that he was dining just tables away, and then I wouldn't have been able to embarrass Lob by making a lap around the restaurant for a better look. Kind of like how I embarrassed her today, by saying, "Who is it? Who??" While she repeatedly whispered the name, hoping that no one would hear her, or see her with this really uncool person who doesn't know better than to blurt out, "WHAT? WHAT IS THEIR NAME? I CAN'T HEAR YOU."

I was going to say that my total inability to call out celebrity sightings when they are staring me in the face has less to do with how un-hip and unknowing I am, and more to do with the fact that I don't notice anything that goes on around me, but after writing what I just did, I have to admit that both are true. While in Spain, Mona would point out people that had just passed us, while I had not noticed that anyone had walked by at all. And in both high school and college, friends would sometimes tell me that they had walked by me on the way to class, said hi, and I had not responded. Maybe I am disabled? Maybe I can retire from work and get a disability check just like the creepy man upstairs who hurt his wrist? And we can both spend all our time looking out of our windows and watching our neighbors...? hmm... Maybe I can be disabled and win the lottery, and move out of my duplex.

Well, if we've learned nothing else, then at least we've learned that I enjoy embarrassing Lob. And I will continue to use my disabilities to do so. I try to make the best of things like that.