I mentioned that the "L" in Lob stands for lazy, but I certainly didn't make her sound very lazy. I don't think of her as lazy at all, but I think she thinks she has gotten more lazy in recent years.(She still does a lot more than I do.) I also mentioned that she was an enthusiastic eater. Most of my friends in high school were… I think it was something that bonded us together, and set us apart from the rest of the girls who ate a few pieces of lettuce and some carrot shavings for lunch. Blay used to order the "dessert for 2" on dates, and then eat the whole thing herself, because, hey, it was free! And eating the dessert was much more important than how she looked to her date. So, yes, most of my friends had healthy appetites, but Lob was in a league of her own.
Here's an example incorporating a little bit of laziness with her love of food: In both school and club soccer, she declared that she played better if she did not warm up. So she sat on the bench while everyone else warmed up – she sat on the bench and ate hotdogs. Apparently, she would walk past the baseball games on her way to the soccer field, see that there were free hotdogs, and take 2 of them. Then, in 90+ degree weather, and knowing perfectly well that she was about to run for 90 minutes straight, she would eat those dogs. I can remember watching her and feeling nauseated. And for the record, I do not for a second believe she really thought it was better not to warm up. I know that when we were younger and new to the team she warmed up very conscientiously. I think that once she was comfortable, she opted for lazy time instead.
And in one particularly heroic night, she and I split a pizza – the same size pizza that 4 of our teammates were sharing together – I think it was a large – AND she ate a cheeseburger. She looked that waitress in the eye, and she ordered half a pizza, and a cheeseburger people. And she finished it all, too. She started to look a little pained about halfway through the cheeseburger, but she didn't let that get in her way. It was good training for when she would win the Whopper eating contest in college a year later.
This is why I really love that when her mom walked in her house to baby-sit this morning, she was greeted by Lob's 2-year-old saying, "I'm hungry. Mommy stole my pancakes."
Lob's response? "Mmmmm… pancakes."
4 comments:
Dear people who read Jenn's blog:
I am not as bad as she makes me sound. While I cannot say that she has lied about anything, puuting it all together like she has makes me seem a bit evil and a bit like a glutton. I really have very good explanations for most of it. I do not make it a practice to elbow mentally challenged children or to steal pancakes from my own child (they were really good pancakes), but sometimes these things just happen. And Jenn gets amusement out of the fact that they happen to me.
And, I am definitely not in a league of my own when it comes to eating. I am waiting for Jenn to share her chocolate chip pancakes story. Blay and I were both there for that one. She ate me under the table, and I was pregnant at the time. She shocked a professional waitress with her eating ability. No one in all of Chicago had finished these chocolate chip pancakes because there were just so many pancakes in one serving. But, lo and behold, Jenn ate them all and did not even blink. All the waitress could say in her stunned state was, "Wow! No one has ever finished them all before." When it comes to eating, you could say Jenn is my hero. I am the Luke to her Yoda... The Daniel-san to her Mr. Miyagi... I could go on.
I would also like to say that Blay is as evil and as big a glutton as I am.
Lob - you stole my chocolate chip pancake story! I just want to reiterate that the waitress wasn't some waif trying to become an actress - she was a professional waitress who had clearly been working at this diner for a long time. The best part is that when the stunned waitress took away Jenn's empty plate, there was no embarrassment. On the contrary, Lob and I felt quite a pride in Jenn's achievement. We took that complement to heart and will never forget that moment. Never. Jenn, I can't wait for wedding toasts for you!
And for the record, I think Lob wins in evil but I win in laziness. Gluttony is a tie.
Well now, I don't know about "so many pancakes" - I believe there were 3 pancakes - they were just particularly large pancakes. And chocolately - mmm, those things were good. In fact, I may be going to Chicago again soon, and if so, I need to get the name of that diner. But yes, it was an old, seasoned waitress, who looked at my plate, mouth dropped open, and said, "NO ONE EVERY FINISHES THE CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES!" I remember looking around for something to put on my plate to make it look less empty, but alas, there was nothing - I couldn't hide it.
That being said... just because you didn't have the yummy c.c. pancakes, doesn't mean you didn't eat a lot that morning! We are just used to you eating a lot, so we can't remember every detail. Also, I think you being pregnant is a non-factor, because due to the pregnancy, you didn't have any drinks the night before which means you didn't need spongey pancakes to soak up the alochol like I did. So it balances out.
No, you are the real master. Which one of us did the local McDonald's crew give a graduation gift to? I rest my case.
Also, I love that the 3 of us are pretending that anyone else is listening to our conversation.
About Afreaka: she's not a phoney. I'll take evil, competitive, indifferent to the suffering of the less fortunate, effortlessly superior to others, lazy, gluttonous (but not fat!) over pretending or trying to be something one isn't any day.
The fact that the staff of McDonald's celebrated Lob's graduation is proof that she is a good person and that she has gained entrance to heaven. She can do nothing but steal food from small children and elbow people to the ground for the rest of her life.
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