you know this date isn't going to go well when:

1) You find a string of beads under the seat in his car, and, whipping them wildly about over your heard you jubilantly exclaim, “Mardi Gras beads!!!!” and he says, “um, that’s my rosary.”

2) He states, very seriously, that he would prefer for you to always wear your hair up, just as it was the first time he saw you.

3) He tells you that during his morning praise routine, he got so excited that his pants fell off, so he kicked them away and kept on… jumping? whatever he was doing.

4) You actually really like the guy, which means that your mouth takes on a will of its own and spouts forth a jumble of words and a head-spinning rate, and the next thing you know you hear it saying, “My great-grandparents were first cousins!”, a secret that you had never told a soul, and suddenly you've told him and a small crowd of onlookers that you're inbred.

Fortunately for me, none of these were my circumstances. I used to have a roommate who could bring home some great dating stories – I just wished I remembered more of them. She called herself “the 3 date wonder”. That was before she was married, of course. Thanks for entertaining me, Dolly. And for reminding me I wasn’t the only acquainted with disaster.

Actually, we had things in common even in our early years. We both liked Miss Piggy, bologna & cheese sandwiches, and seeing how much chocolate cake we could fit into our mouths at one time. So, Miss Piggy and eating. That about sums it up. What else do two young friends need, anyway?

That's me in the foreground, and Dolly* in the distance with the funky hair.
Little ladies in the making.



* Dolly isn't her real name, but some people are more comfortable with talking me into being on the Internet, than with being briefly mentioned themselves. mmhmm.